“Sometimes it feels better not to talk, at all, about anything, to anyone.”- unknown
I have been in therapy now for a solid 2 years. Weekly appointments to talk about all the things I keep bottled up inside and not disclose to anyone. My doctors have suggested this for many years but I wasn’t ready. It wasn’t until recently, meaning, the past 2 years that I decided it was time to talk about my feelings and have an honest conversation about how mad I am. It has also helped Dave and I cope together.
The past couple of weeks have been different, I have been very much in my own head and really not wanting to discuss anything with anyone. I cancelled an appointment with my therapist because I just couldn’t. I didn’t want to talk about it, I didn’t want to think about it, I didn’t even want to be in my own body. I’ve had a complete, “Please god let this be a dream” talk to the universe many times in the past couple of weeks.
Most of the time I can pull myself together knowing this is just a fleeting thought and to stay positive and all we be ok. Well this time I can’t force myself happy, I can’t force myself to not feel angry that after 11 years I am still battling and still have no cure. I can’t force myself to not think about the future and making sure my family is taken care of. All these thoughts aren’t going away. SO where do I go from here, how do I move forward like I have the past 11 years. I feel stuck.
Then the universe comes to my rescue and low and behold it shows me the light. I have a very good friend, who has an amazing heart. She has signed up to be a bone marrow donor and today she found out she was a match. I cried for her and I cried for the woman with leukemia who will be benefitting from all the love and help there is in this world. Not only is my friend going to help this woman but my friend helped me look at the world again and see hope. My feelings don’t need to make sense because the universe will always show me a way to look at a situation in another light. Sometimes the best thing we can do is not think, not wonder, not imagine, not worry, not obsess. Just breath, and have faith that everything will all work out for the best.
I have been told that the universe gives you what you need when you need it at just the right time. This could not be more true. So today I am thanking the Universe, it has shown me there is so much hope and so much more. Trust in the universe my friends it will show you the light and love.
All my best to you my Fabulous Fighters