Fall and new beginnings

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“Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall.”- F. Scott Fitzgerald

Fall has always been my favorite time of the year. I love when the trees start to change their colors and hot coffee in the morning tastes more like heaven in a cup. Pumpkin becomes more than an orange face, it becomes everything. I have always felt as if fall is the start of new beginnings. September is the new January. I set goals and begin to have a new outlook on the new year ahead.

Fall has brought so many changes to my life that my love of this season goes well beyond the weather and foliage.  Fall is when I was married, fall has many family birthdays including mine, and fall is when I had to make a decision that forever changed my life.

11 years ago I headed into the hospital for a partial mastectomy. I was 27, had a wonder husband and one year old daughter who were everything to me.  My decision for a mastectomy was easy, “Take them, who the hell needs boobs, they are trying to kill me.” My doctors on the other hand advised for a partial mastectomy because of my age and back then Breast Cancer was unheard of at such a young age. “Save the boobs” was more their philosophy. Had I known then what I know now, my 27 year old scared self would have pushed and listened to her gut.

I could choose to be angry at the last 11 year journey with cancer because of those decisions. I could choose to hate this life and hate the decisions that were essentially made for me. What I chose to do was to fight and live the life that was given to me. For me there was no other choice. Live this life, live in these moments, love this life, and love these moments. If life was that easy with no other thoughts there would be no need to write this article. The truth is that my mind and mood are not like that all the time. For weeks I have questioned every decision I’ve ever made: Wrong decisions, right decisions, and questionable decisions. What I have learned in the past couple of weeks is that every decision is a crisp new beginning. Every choice a new season. If I fall back I will fly forward. I don’t need to look back at the decisions I’ve made, instead I will place them under my feet and use them as stepping stones to a new beginning.

So here is to a new season and shouting out to the universe, “Dear Past, thank you for all the lessons. Dear future, I am ready.” -unkown

All my love to you Fabulous Fighters,

Fab xoxo

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