“Our Soul is the sacred essence within us; or deepest purpose, or unique meaning, the guiding force behind our individual lives.”
I have been told everything changes when you start emitting your own frequency rather than absorbing the frequency around you. It has taken me years to understand what that means. My inquisitive mind has always wanted to know more, to dig deeper, and to truly understand my purpose. This journey to enlightenment started long before I put in the real, nitty gritty work of finding the true me. I wish I had started this work sooner but I have realized I haven’t been ready until now.
This road I have traveled for so long no longer serves the best me I can be; no longer serves the woman I am now. The road of spiritual growth is a process of destruction, tearing down the walls that I have built up and it is a messy process, but I am willing and able to do the work so here I am.
The demons I have hidden from are staring me in face. The nightmares, the flashbacks, the anxiety. I wrote about hypnotherapy in my book and how I was able to lock away a memory that hurt so deep I never spoke about it. Unfortunately burying what broke my soul a long time ago left me with the wound that never fully healed. It haunts me everyday and will continue to do so until have the power over it. I did not asked to be raped, I did not ask for the things that I’ve been through, and I certainly did not ask my mind to paint and repaint the picture in flashback. The mind is powerful and our thoughts can be paralyzing. The past is my everyday until I change it.
Twenty-Five years this has haunted me. Twenty-Five years of trying to bury it, trying to hide it, trying to remain voiceless in a society that doesn’t want to hear it. A society that would rather give a woman the tools to defend herself rather than giving a man the tools to not be violent and violate.
I am no longer speechless when it comes to my power. I am no longer speechless when it comes to violence against woman. I am no longer afraid to speak the truth. I am no longer going to feel bad about making decisions and voicing opinions that may upset others. I am not responsible for your happiness, I am responsible for mine.
I’ve spent years building these walls, worrying about others happiness. Stifling the truth so others felt comfortable . The time to make my soul happy is now. New beginnings often disguise themselves as painful endings but the outcome of making yourself, your soul, and your spirit happy is worth its weight in gold. Never be afraid to speak your truth my Fabulous Fighters, be brave enough to have the conversations that really matter. Be fierce enough to break through the built up wall. You are full of fire and not even you can hold your self back because I know your passion burns brighter than your fears.
Love to you all my Fabulous Fighters,