Today I was reminded of the joy in the holiday season. The past two weeks have been rough for me. I have been in a “funk” for lack of a better word. I have been tired, stressed and to be honest unable to get myself to a place of peace. The harder I tried the more pressure I felt to be happy the worse I felt. I kept questioning what was wrong with me? It hit me like a ton of bricks as I was running around like a crazy person yesterday. I was an angry elf. The stress of the holidays had gotten to me. The stress of buying the perfect gift, the stress of disappointing people, and all this stress I have put on myself.
My epiphany came when Dave and I were frantically looking for a gift my daughter put on her Christmas list. I was becoming more angry with every hanger that read the wrong size and was the wrong color. I became angry with my daughter for taking the little girl I used to buy dolls for away. The little girl who believed in Santa and didn’t care what color shirt was under the tree. I became angry with the the spirit of Christmas as I feel it has become so commercialized. I became angry with my husband as he mentioned yet another gift idea that I questioned whether or not our 13 year old daughter would approve. My head was spinning and not with sugar plums. I went to bed last night tearful of the holiday I used to love so much. As I said my prayers and set my intentions for today I asked for a better outlook on the holiday season. I asked for some clarity in the tinseled mess going on in my head.
To my surprise, today brought just the things I asked for. Today was a day of blessings, holiday magic and a renewed outlook on the things that really matter. I had a book signing at Barnes and Noble in Burlington MA. It was also a fundraiser for the Miss Pink Organization. Mackenzie asked this morning if she could attend and help out? Of course my answer was yes! So off we went, the 3 musketeers, Dave Mackenzie and myself to sign some books and raise some money. We began setting up and Mackenzie announced she would be happy to pass out the vouchers to customers to help raise money for Miss Pink. My heart exploded. I have never questioned my daughters heart and just how big it is. But lately our teenager has had me questioning the “teenage” years. I started to see the glimmer of holiday light I have been so longing for. The next surprise was an old classmate of my husbands who brought his book to be signed and to chat with Dave as they haven’t seen each other since graduation. This gentlemen has kept up with us on social media and has been huge supporter. They stood there and chatted for almost two hours. I could see them smiling, I could hear them laughing and it brought my heart such joy. The glimmer of the holiday light was getting brighter. The next surprise was the star on the Christmas tree. Four beautiful ladies approached all with cases held with crowns and banners. The USA Ambassador queens had come to see me and support the Miss Pink Organization. I have never met these ladies before but it was an instant bond. Especially Little Miss Southern New England. She jumped into my arms and gave me the biggest hug! She was squeezing and telling me how much she loved me and couldn’t wait to meet me. She wanted to swap crowns and be Miss Pink. She wanted a book signed and to take lots of pictures. (which we did) This little girl brought the magic of Christmas back. She was the bright light of what the holiday season is all about. She unknowingly gave me the best gift. LOVE. The holidays and everyday for that matter should make us all feel this way. I lost sight of the true holiday spirit but I am going to bed tonight reminded of the beautiful souls that bring magic to our days. The beautiful souls that I am blessed by and that includes all of you. My family, my friends (old and new) and the bright shining lights that make this word better.
So my Fabulous Fighters my Christmas wish for all of you is that you get to experience the love and holiday magic that surrounds us. May you see it and feel it through the season and everyday in between.
All my love to you,