Let faith be your compass, for what we can not see with our eyes we feel with our heart. My heart is overwhelmed with sadness after a dear friends passing this week. The overwhelming pain is a combination of the shock of what happened and the ache for what never will be. I keep rereading a text I received from him a few days before his passing. He sent me a website of a restaurant that he wanted to me to check out. After expressing my gratitude for him thinking of me, his response was three words that I will never forget. “Anything for YOU.” written just like that. I can’t seem to delete it. This was him. The words were him to a T. He would do anything for his family and friends. And if you were lucky enough to be a friend he considered family, like myself, I consider my self truly blessed.
Death is never easy to accept. Passing away in the prime of your life, leaving behind an amazing wife and two beautiful daughters, is even harder to accept. I am realizing this goodbye hurts so much because his story was not finished. There were chapters left to be written. Words that needed to be said. Instead I sit here in silence thinking of the many conversations that made me laugh, sometimes cry, but always made me feel loved. Martin wouldn’t want anyone of us to think of him with sadness, or remember him with tears in our eyes. But here I sit with tears streaming down my face thinking of how sad I am, he is not here.
Realizing how selfish this is to continue grieving this way I want to readjust and think about the lessons Martin’s life has taught me. I have learned things don’t always turn out the way we want or the way we planned, but it is how we adjust the sail and keep floating. I’ve learned that the pot of gold is not always at the end of the rainbow, but the adventure you take looking for it becomes the reward. I’ve also learned that tragedy happens in a split second, so say the I love you’s, give the hugs and squeeze tight, make the memories now and make them count.
Not everything is supposed to become long lasting. Sometimes people come into your life to show you and teach you. To make you feel and look at life different. Not everyone will stay forever, but we have to keep going and thank them for what they have given us.
Martin, you will be missed but the memories will never be forgotten. Your larger than life smile and personality. Your kind heart and soul. Your mark has been made in the hearts of so many. Fly high our beautiful angel.
Remember my Fabulous Fighters, life’s greatest lessons are usually learned at the worst times under the worst circumstances. Our tribe is strong and we will continue to live with the same attitude our friend Martin had. The best zest for life and to love hard.
All my love to you all,