For the past week I have been in a really bad place. This is something very difficult to articulate as those dancing monkey’s I have spoken about in the past tend to creep up when we least expect it. There are not many times when I can’t seem to pull myself out of the dark place but this week has been difficult. I’m hurting and I’m struggling. I’m
Giving this life all I have and somedays it feels as if it’s not enough.
Most of you know I am an outgoing, happy, positive person. But I have to work very hard to be the person who sees the good, who searches for the rainbow, and who looks at the glass half full!
13 years of battling an auto immune disease, breast cancer and anxiety you can see how it would do a number to anyone’s psyche.
Trust me when I say I know how it feels to cry in the shower so no one can hear. I know the pain of hurting so bad you just want it to end. I know how it feels to fall to pieces. I also know that I am stronger than the pain. I know that if I’ve made it this far I can make it through more struggling days. I know that my life matters. I also know that although this article is being written through tears and is raw and real that it will help someone who needs to hear this.
No one knows the battles we face in silence. No one understands until they have walked a day in our shoes. All it takes is a beautiful fake smile to hide a bruised soul. I promise you are not alone. Each day we conquer through the obstacles makes us another day stronger. Today as I was enjoying the lake life and thinking about this past week I was reminded of how I want to live. I want to see the sunrise, sunset and experience all seasons that life has to offer. I want a lifetime of it. For me, that is what I am holding onto, to get through the tough days, weeks and sometimes months. I will continue to have the eye of the tiger and Fight….Fabulously!
Wrappin you all in Fabulous Love,