“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do, more than by the ones you did do.” -Mark Twain
As I’ve been preparing to write this article, this quote came across my path. I don’t believe in coincidence, I believe in the universe giving us what we ask and work for. A few weeks ago I was at one of my lowest points and it spiraled downward. I was at the point of writing down my last wishes. I finally put it all out to the universe and my mind started to shift. As I read this quote I got angry for a split second. My anger stemmed from thinking my time here is limited. I was angry that 20 years from now I wondered if I will still be alive. I am not having a pity party a I am being realistic in the state my health is in. These are the things I think about, while most are thinking or planning their next vacation I am planning minutes and days. To think about the next 20 years seems daunting and sad.
I know this is hard to read; but this is my reality. I wanted to share what my dark days look like, I wanted to share insight into the diagnosis I have been dealing with for over 13 years now.
In some of my darkest moments these past few weeks, my focus went to what I still want to accomplish. Not only is my non-profit first on that list but my goal is still set on the USA Ambassador National title. My dream is to make a difference in a big way.
But I need your help. With our co-pay for chemo and other medications we are at $300 a week in medical expenses. We are also sending our daughter to her dream ballet camp this summer. As bills are adding up, my dream is becoming farther to reach financially.
I know some won’t understand why winning a National pageant title is so important to me. And I will try and explain the best I can.
I was not a straight “A” student, I was not an athlete that would grant me scholarship money, but I was a girl who had big dreams and one of those dreams was going to college and earning a degree. For a long time I competed in the Miss America pageant system and able to earn scholarship dollars that allowed me the opportunity to graduate debt free. I fell in love with the pageant world, the amazing opportunities it granted me and gained a love for community service. I’ve continued my education for the past 13 years plugging away at my doctorate in naturopathic medicine and I am 1 exam away from that goal. That will allow me to help so many others.
Competing for the National title not only grants me the opportunity to share my message Nation wide but I will be giving back to my home State and other organizations I feel so passionate about.
At 41 years old I didn’t think a National title would be so important to me. But honestly it is! Being first runner up last year not only showed me that I can; but proved you don’t have to fit a mold of what a “pageant” girl should be or look like. Others took notice and so many women reached out to me, women who are now competing even though they too don’t fit the typical pageant mold. These women want to show how they can make a difference as well.
So here is my plea: I need your help to raise the funds to return to the national stage. I need your help to cover the cost of my weekly chemo. I need your help in order to further my mission to inspire others, to continue to make a difference and to ensure that my nearly 14 year battle with cancer has truly meant something.
While I am no where near done fighting, in reality, this may be my last chance to be on that national stage. In reality, I need your help to make this dream come true before I no longer have the chance. Every dollar helps get me closer to my $3000 goal. A lofty goal, but the bare minimum needed to cover my expenses.
Please understand it is not the crown that I am after, but what it stands for and all the hard work I have put into getting this far. I am including the link for my go fund me and understand if you can not donate. But please share. This means so much to me. So please click the link below https://www.gofundme.com/cancer-and-the-crown-2019