From the ashes of mental abuse

Sometimes we don’t see it, but we feel it. Deep in our soul where it  breaks our heart into millions of pieces.  

Silence becomes louder than words spoken. But the words feel Like a swift slap across our faces. We step on eggshells as to not awaken the beast but in reality no one can tame the lion that roars it’s ugliness of word vomit.  

The dark vortex we feel trapped in, apologizing for our existence, just to make it ok.  

If anyone has ever experienced mental abuse you know what I explaining. 

Tonight’s article stems from conversations we have had with our daughter recently about a relationship in her life.  It has been a trying few months holding this in but we have vowed to be an open family. The lessons we have learned and the pain we have experienced together through all of this is hard to share but we feel it necessary. 

As I drove Mackenzie to dance Friday I had a heart to heart with her about mental abuse.  The truth is, Mackenzie’s abuser is a WOMAN a mentor, and teacher. A person she trusted, put her faith in, and truly respected.  I had an open window of time where I could see her wheels turning so I took my chance to explain the situation from where Dave and I were seeing things.  

I respectfully told Mackenzie, if a man was treating you this way, maybe in a committed relationship would you take this abuse? 

“Mom, of course not, you have taught me better than that.” (First light bulb moment.)

Then why would you let a female do the same? (Sat in silence for a few minutes) 

Mackenzie is it alright to feel like you are always in the wrong or feel as if you have done something wrong 24/7? To feel belittled or as if you and your feelings don’t matter at all? 

(Light bulb number 2)

“But Mom, I trusted her with my feelings, my education, and my heart…….(silence)…… She broke my trust!” (Light bulb number 3)

In this family 3 strikes you are out! 

We sat in the car, silent, tears streaming down Mackenzie’s face, and tears streaming down my face because I felt so helpless and heart breaking for my child. 

We so often associate mental abuse with men against women. Honestly I have been on the receiving  end of both.  Neither is easy to break away from, but for some reason we don’t see it as blatant with women. I think when friendship and women are involved we hope for the best. Fierce lady friendships are far and few between in this world and we hold on really tight hoping this friendship will last.  

Mental abuse is never ok. Mental abuse is harder to see when you are in it. Mental abuse is more common that we actually realize. 

This isn’t easy for our family to speak about but we feel in necessary to have this open conversation.  Mental abuse breaks you down and tears you apart, leaving you with the bitter thoughts that you are nothing. 

Mackenzie decided on Friday evening to break free, to take control of the situation and put her feelings first. 

We couldn’t be prouder of her, her decision, and all that she has overcome. 

Mackenzie decided that the best way to heal was through dance….. so yesterday we created this video.  She danced her feelings. She danced through the pain, through the freedom she felt and mourned the loss of this relationship. 

For anyone suffering in this type of situation, whether at the hands of a man or woman. You are NOT alone, you ARE WORTH it, and you are BRAVE for breaking free.  

We are a Tribe of Fabulous Fighters, we have your back, ALWAYS! 


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