It has been a week since my last article. A week of second guessing my choices, a week of receiving nasty and hateful emails, and also a week of many people reaching out in support. My life has been a roller coaster of emotion. So let me start off by explaining the why and intention behind my choice to publish a piece that has seemed to set off a shit storm.
Pageantry is not an exact science, it is a subjective view. Different day, different judges, different outcome. I went into nationals aware of this but knew I still wanted to take this chance that I would be the woman they were looking for. We all know that I was not in fact the woman they were looking for which sparked the article. Pageantry for me has been a love-hate relationship. I love meeting new friends, being surrounded by powerful and imaginative women and pushing myself out of my comfort zone. But I also hate tearing myself down bit by bit to fit a “pageant mold” we all know still exists. The week of nationals proved in fact there is a pageant stereotype. There are many subjective views that are skewed by and unrealistic ideal of an often unattainable goal. My article was a view through the my eyes, my observations, and my opinions. My article was not meant to belittle, demean, or hurt anyone in the process.
Everyone sees things through their own experiences, and although I know many of you read my article though your experience (which was different from mine) I would NEVER want anyone to believe my intentions were malicious is anyway.
This has been hard for me to write and explain as this article sparked someone to and I quote, “You should be ashamed, and I hope the cancer takes you.” This world becomes scarier and sadder by the day. I would never wish harm on anyone and can’t believe that an article would spur on such hatred. My article was point of view, a subjective view; as is pageantry. My article was meant to shine a light on a unrealistic pageant ideal. To start a conversation that the pageant world; as much as we want to believe it has evolved….has not. We want to believe that our world has evolved; that we are an all inclusive society that accepts all for who they are, what they look like, their political views, and gender equality. But here I am, having this conversation over an article that was taken out of the context it was meant to be. Therefor sparked a conversation of hatred because they way I saw things, was not the way some saw things.
Growing up I was taught we will all have different views and different beliefs. I was also taught that kindness and acceptance of everyone should be second nature. We all have the choice to use our words to hurt, demean, slander and wound others. We also have the choice to use our words to heal, encourage, inspire and love others. Once the words leave your mouth you can’t take them back, so let’s choose our words carefully. No one is perfect, I sure know I am not. This has opened my eyes to a big societal problem that I know won’t be fixed over night. But lets open the conversation to these moments of weakness where we feel hate is answer. Lets open up the conversation where we can communicate using words of love and encouragement. Hate is never the answer.
Showering you all with Fabulous light and love,